My husband recently had the opportunity to sing on stage with Latin American heart throb Enrique Iglesias. If you know my husband, you know that this was a dream come true and nothing else will ever be as a great as that moment. Yes, I have accepted that….
While on stage Josh not only got to sing in SPANISH with his favorite singer, but he also got to take shots of tequila and literally just hang out on stage. Enrique asked Josh where he was from and the typical “get to know you” questions. At one point he asked, “who are you here with?” Josh said he was with me and his brother. Enrique said “How long have you been married? How is it going?” to which my husband replied “It’s the best thing I have ever done. I love my wife!”
Yep. That’s my husband. In front of a crowd of thousands of screaming women, and his man crush, he said the cutest thing in the whole wide world and all the girls around me cried. In that moment, I felt truly blessed. I honestly couldn’t be happier.
As cute as this was, I would like to take this opportunity to tell you the truth about marriage. The truth is happiness like this just doesn’t happen. It is impossible to be completely and 100% happy and in love with your spouse all the time.
It takes WORK.
When Josh and I got married, I thought the wedding day euphoria would carry on through the rest of our marriage. Everyone told me that marriage would be work, but I thought ” yeah maybe for you but you don’t know me and Josh.”
Marriage is not only work, but it’s hard work. I mean think about it. Can you ace a paper that you don’t even write? Can you summit a mountain and enjoy a breathtaking view without the climb? I’m sure some of you smarty pants’ are thinking “yeah I can have someone do it for me.” but where is the satisfaction in that? And let me tell ya folks, you can’t have someone handle your marriage for you. Before my grandfather died, he gave me the best marriage advice I have ever had. He said “marriage is 100%/100% not 50/50. You both have to give it your all in order to be happy.” That being said, my grandparents were married for over 50 years, and when my grandfather died my grandmother wasn’t far behind. Their love story is one I have always cherished, but it didn’t just happen. They worked hard. They compromised and they fought, but they loved hard.
Over the past 4 years, Josh and I have had some very challenging times. We have had times that have tested our patience and resilience. But we worked through them together. I learned quickly that comparing your marriage to someone else’s is a recipe for disaster. It creates resentment. Focus on what’s good for the both of you.
A lot of people ask me how Josh and I can be so happy. I mean we married very young so many just assume that we live with regret every day of our lives. This is not true. I never once have regretted my decision to marry Josh when I was 21. It is the best decision I have ever made. My answer to the people that ask “How are you both so happy?” there is no answer. There are many things I could list that gives advice on what you can do to be happy in your marriage, but it’s different for everyone. What’s important is that you are your spouse’s best friend. That you forgive often, compromise, and love each other through the hard times. The truth about marriage is that there is no way to have a perfect marriage, but through the ups and the downs marriage is 100% worth the wild ride.